There are times in life when you cannot help but feel powerless. One of these moments crept up on me this past weekend as I was walking leisurely home from the train station after a beautiful day spent visiting a friend in Manchester. The day had been nearly perfect - sunny, breezy, filled with cider and cream tea and catching up. I was not expecting it to take the stunning turn it did, especially so late in the day.
As I mentioned, I was walking home from the train station along my usual path, down through a pedestrian-only road sheltered by a beautiful canopy of trees. Though it can get a bit dim at night, this area is generally very safe and filled with other students. On Saturday evening, however, I was alone aside from two individuals - a man and a woman - who I could hear shouting at one another before their silhouettes even came into view. As I made my way toward them from the top of the hill, I could tell that they were in the midst of a heated lover's quarrel, and I could also see that the man was becoming increasingly aggressive. He was pacing erratically, waving his arms, and raising his voice louder and louder as their argument became more intense.
As I neared them, the woman attempted to turn away, but the man grabbed the strap of her bag to keep her from leaving. She did not seem afraid, merely exasperated (which I took as a very good sign), but I still felt a bit uneasy at the idea that he felt no harm in abusing her belongings, and his anger seemed to be escalating to the point of abusing other things next. As we crossed paths I did what I have read about passing by potential attackers, and I maintained silent but unflinching eye contact. Then I kept walking.
I felt like a coward, but I didn't know what to do. Should I call emergency services? I hadn't actually witnessed an assault, though I feared that a physical confrontation was imminent. Should I go back and ask if everything was alright? That may have led to myself being attacked, and I know that as a person of relatively small stature I would only have been putting myself in danger. Should I ask the next large man I see to help the woman? What if that led to a bigger fight? There was no right answer.
This personal conundrum led me to examine an issue facing a lot of women in their everyday lives. Obviously I am a strong feminist, and I believe that women can achieve anything they set their minds too. However, I am also a realist and will not deny the scientific fact that generally men are physically larger and stronger than women. Women can be powerful in both a physical and mental sense, but that doesn't change the fact that if a woman is being threatened by a man or attempts to intervene in a conflict and she does not have any specialised training in self-defence, there is a very likely possibility that she will be injured or worse. Though it is unfair that this inequality should exist, it is a sad fact of life that we as women have to deal with when considering our personal safety.
Thankfully I have not witnessed many incidents such as the one I just described, and I have my fingers crossed that I remain as fortunate as I have been in the future. I only hope that the woman in the argument was able to stand her ground in a way that didn't put her in physical danger. And that she dumped that jerk's ass the second she got the chance.
